Taniasecret's Blog

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An Ultra Vision


When I open my eyes every day to what is happening and what is going on around me, to the same daily slow passing routine of going nowhere, doing nothing important, and hearing the same recurring daily question of: what should we do to fix everything?…I feel helpless…I feel hopeless…my gaze at nowhere never ends…I have no answer to others’ questions…the list of “if” sentences burden my shoulders so heavily that I feel, it can no longer hold my head on top… I lay my head back on the sofa…close my eyes…and wish that time stops there…at the same moment…ah..Dear God…I wish you hold me tight and tell me that it’s alright…or tell me somehow that You will put an end to the sufferings…or you will finally take my soul and let it rest in heavens in peace… God I wish those days… that I would never open my eyes again…I wish I would never be forced to see again all that pain and bewilderment in everybody’s’ eyes…of the uncertain tomorrow…or see their hopes crashed to the ground more day after day……..
And days go by…day after day…and nothing of that happens…those hopeless wishes of eternal peace I had the other day never comes true…then I start looking more closely…after all, what I have plenty of these days is free time… I take a distant position from where I’m standing… I check my problems as an outsider…it’s only then that I see My dearest, my love, my God…what greater gifts you are pouring into your humble servant’s life…you are keeping my mind busy with small,trivias issues that seem so large to me at the time…while you are polishing my soul with such delicacy that I can hardly feel or understand but the divine heat of that polishing act brings me so close to you…so close that I feel you like I never did before…it’s only then that I know what I really missed, was You, and…God… how much I missed you…and how much I need you…I feel I’m so blessed to be allowed to get close to you that much to feel the warmth of Your love again………..
And…I open my eyes…to the TV news that talks about all the miseries people have around the world…from hunger…wars…earthquakes….etc…I say thanks God we face less challenges…i feel strong again, the entire burden has disappeared from my shoulders…I can hold my head high again…the problem is still there but I see it differently now, I see it as a bless…and more confidently I say…don’t worry kids…for sure we will get out of this…we will pass this one too…Tomorrow is another day…

 

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April 25, 2010 - Posted by | self-help

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